A Grain of Salt, and a Pack of Cigarettes
by Neverafterever
Summary: He never thought the day world come. his brother has always lived in perfect ingorance to everything. it was just one kiss, that's all it took to get everything taken away from him.
1. Chapter 1

A Grain of Salt, and a Pack of Cigarettes

Miaski's head dropped against the desk as he finished off his final report for M university. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes for just a moment, feeling the world swirl around him and after weeks of exhausting exams and projects. Of course he's peace didn't last as a door slammed down stairs and Usagi-san's voice rang through the apartment.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAID THEY WANTED ME TO DO, IM NOT GOING!" Misaki lifted his head from the desk and rubbed his eye. Reluctantly he switched off the light and walked to the stairs. In the living room, Usagi tossed his suit's jacket on the floor and loosened his tie. A newly lit cigarette hanging in his mouth.

Misaki smiled. After finals and Usagi-san's new release and the two of them haven't really had time to send together. Misaki walked down into the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Welcome back Usagi-san," he said sweetly as misaki pulled a carton of eggs and some cabbage from the shelves, placing them on the counter.

Usagi-san growled a response before grinding his cigarette into the ashtray. To Misaki's surprise he didn't seem as exhausted as he was annoyed. Misaki placed a pot of water on the stove, lit it, then went to bring a hot cup of tea to the older man on the couch. He placed the cup of the glass coffee table and began to walk away.

"Misaki," Usagi-san opened his eyes and sat up, "Is Takahiro still coming on Saturday? Will you have the house clean by then?"

Misaki looked around the room. Papers where scattered across the ground and dirty dishes where stacked in the sink. Even Suzuki-san hadn't had his ribbon changed in days. "Yeah" he said finally, "I'll get it done." Masaki turned back to the stove and finished up dinner. He smiled lightly to himself. It was rare for usagi to not do anything strange, especially after such a long time away.

As usual Misaki spoke to soon as he jumped from his skin in shock. Usagi-san jumped the younger man and although Misaki put up a bit of a struggle, he didn't really mind. It had been so long. Both men fell to the floor from misaki's struggles. Usgai continued to unbuttoned misaki's shirt as they kissed passionately.

"Stop it stupid Usagi! I've got the stove on!" Misaki used the same excuse he always did as he tried to push the old, and much stronger, man from him.

"Misaki," Usagi-san's low whispering voice rang in Misaki's ear, sending cills and shivers down his spin, "You're finals are over right? So is my work, we should go on a date soon. We haven't done that in a long time…" his voice trailed off.

The pot on the stove bubbled over and drops of steamy water landed on Usagi-san back. He jumped us muttering as he struggled to get the boiling liquid of his shirt as it continued to burn his back slights.

"I told you!" Misaki jumped up. Patting down his apron and re-buttoning his shirt as he turned off the stove "Look what you did! Now we have nothing to eat!" misaki looked over at Usagi, he was right this time. A small joy rose in him, only to be shot down by the grin on Usagi-san's tired face. 

_He-he planned this!_

"Let's go out! Tomorrow's your day-off so there's no need to get up early." Usagi lit another cigarette and smiled with joy, "go change, let go, I know this nice little restaurant that's not to fancy. You'll like it."

_Yes. _Irritated Misaki stomped up the stair and changed his cloths, tossing his apron on his desk where, just minutes ago, he was going to catch up on sleep. He sighed. But inside he really couldn't wait to spend a little 'alone time' with Usagi. To see that all the yelling was about. And ever more interesting, why takahiro was coming over the day after tomorrow.

The sun started to set lower in the sky and both men headed out to the small restaurant that wasn't too fancy and had a great menu.

After dinner they started off to the red sports car that was parked in a garage a few blocks from the actual restaurant. It was late. Not many people where around and the dim light of the street, the eerie atmosphere made Misaki's skin crawl, ands usagi-san knew this.

They continued for another block or so, until they where almost positive no one was around them. No one was lurking in the black shadows around the edges of the street.

Usagi-san tilted misaki's chin up. He smiled then leaned forward and kissed the younger flustered man. It wasn't a sloppy kiss but a very loving one. Misaki's hand dropped to his side, limp in shock. His cheek burned red but not once did he want usagi-san to tare away. He thought back to the first night they kissed. When takahiro announced his marriage. It was very much like that. The street and the dark night. Everything except the snow.

When they finally broke apart, usagi hugged misaki briefly, "I missed you this week. Promise me that you'll never bet a busy job so we can see each over and spend time with each other every day."

_You're one to talk._ Misaki bite his tough to stop himself from whispering his comment. Not wanting to spoil Usagi-san's good mood for the rather long car ride home.

They walked off, hand in hand. Misaki smiled to himself but he was curious to make sure usagi didn't see. And this caution was successful as they walked the last few blocks to the red sports car that took them to their very comfortable home.

Although, a rock like feeling weighed Misaki down. He was feeling that he had become a bit dependent and he felt like this happiness wasn't going to last. But he would never say that.

The lights where flooding the streets with a dim yellow light as takahiro walked slowly back to the train. The long day at work dragged on and on and on and on. The cold air was refreshing and he just couldn't weight to go home and see his love wife and in a day or two his younger brother. Who he hadn't heard much of lately.

For a slight change in pace Takahiro decided to take a short cut through one of the back roads. Just to mix things up. He also enjoyed the solitude, knowing that no one would be watching as he dragged his feet, step by step, to the train.

Two figures where outlined in the light of the streetlamps. Takahiro sighed as he's secret wish to be alone was shattered, he was about to turn back to the brighter, busier street when something stuck out to him. The shorter of the two figures looked an awful lot like misaki. He stepped to the side, hiding slightly in the shadows and slightly in the light.

It WAS misaki! And usagi! Takahiro was about to call out and meet up with his brother and friend, when something strange happened. Usagi-san tilted misaki's head up. Then… kissed him.

He froze in his tracks. With no effort to refuse, misaki just accepted it. A sickening feeling came over takahiro. Where those two dating behind his back? A pang of betrayal stabbed takahiro's heart. And Usami was gay? And so was Misaki!

He just couldn't make sense of the scene placed in front of him. Were they always like this? Was Misaki _okay _with this? Was this safe or his younger brother? What were his own thoughts about it… no this wasn't okay!

He turned back and slowly began to walk away as questions swirled in his mind. Most importantly, takahiro had to go catch the train to see his loving wife and even more important, his brother soon.

This day was just going to keep going on and on and on and on.


	2. Chapter 2

Akihiko would have defiantly preferred to be sitting, relaxed, on the expensive sofa that sat in front of him and not pacing the open floor of his apartment, biting nervously at his finger nails. He wasn't the type of person to get worked up about, well, anything. But the stone cold urgency and harsh tone in Takahiro's voice that echoed over the phone line made Akihiko's skin crawl. Had something happened to his son? Maybe his wife? Did he lose his job? Akihiko shook the thoughts from his head.

Luckily, Misaki wasn't home, so he didn't have to worry about his little brown haired lover seeing him in such a panicked mood.

The doorbell rang. Akihiko jumped before calming his nerves and brushing his hands on his shirt. He straitened his hair. Took a deep breath. Then opened the door, greeting Misaki's older brother with a smile and their usually routine. But something was, painfully out of place. The cold gaze of Takahiro's eye made Akihiko flinch and slowed his thoughts, killing his ability to come up with lies or excuses on the spot.

"Would you like something to drink? I put on some water a not to long ago?" Akihiko started out after both men took their seats on the previously mentioned couch and chair across the glass table. Akihiko bounced his leg nervously. The painful though of how out of character this was for him ate away at the back of his mind. Akihiko wished for Misaki's awkwardness to take not only his own thoughts, but also Takahiro's eyes, off of him. _Oh forget this!_ He thought briefly before pulling a small pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his jacket.

"No." Takahiro responded flat. Both looked away. Just seconds pasted before he spoke again, "I have something important to discuses with you." Takahiro looked around and over his shoulder, "Is Misaki home?"

"No he's out with a friend."

"Good."

Akihiko lifted an eyebrow. And lit a cigarette, breathing in the warm smoke, feeling it calm him; just a bit.

"I, I don't want Misaki to stay here any longer." Takahiro stated, clenching his fist. "I can't let this— this relationship of yours to go on any longer! It's just not healthy for someone like him."

Akihiko froze. "E-excuse me?" the tip of his cigarette crumbled into ashes, falling slowly to the carpet below his feet.

"I can't allow this! It's just not, not, okay! Just think of the differences in your ages, and you're an old friend of mine. To think!" Takahiro stood up, enraged. If there was anything that continued to surprise Akihiko, it would be takahiros amazing ability to be completely strait forward. About, the strangest things. "For that reason I will be taking Misaki back, to live in a healthy family environment."

"Takahiro wait."

"And this time there wont be any lies, or stories, to change my mind. To think that I have been this ignorant this whole time!"

Lightheaded, Akihiko placed his cigarette down in the ash tray. His eyes wide and head spinning. The whole room crashed down around him.

"Misaki can come here this afternoon to pack, but that's it! Nothing more. Nothing less." Takahiro started off to the door, "Considering that you were one of by best friends, I wont make any moves towards the media, but take my warning, I always can. And if you do anything to Misaki or the rest of my family…" his sentence trailed off, fading into an empty threat.

Akihiko sat, petrified. This wasn't like Takahiro, but a faint feeling lingered in his mind. A memory of one of Takahiro's past friends, no girlfriends, who lied to him about her family situation. _How could I have been so stupid!_ He remembered the pure rage he witnessed from his friend after the truth had been reveled. Forget a pet peav, Takahiro took an obsession when it comes to his loved ones lying. It was a mistake Akihiko promised he would never make; or so he thought.

"TAKAHIRO! Wait!" he finally jumped from his paralyzed stated on the couch, "Please, you don't understand, you can't just take him away from me!" The sheer pain and desperateness in his voice startled him, but Akihiko meant every word, "You just can't do that, Misaki is everything to me. I love him." He closed his eyes for a moment, allowing his confession to sink in. The words seemed so different when they were said in front of someone besides Misaki.

"He's my little brother," Takahiro spoke quietly, "And all the family I have left, I wont allow you to hurt him."

The door closed slowly behind him. Leaving Akihiko alone, a smoking half cigarette in the ash tray. Long lines of silver smoke rose to the roof. Akihiko stumbled back down, on to the sofa, dropping his head in his hands. Trying to think through the past fifteen minutes of his life. The room spun around him.

What gave them away? What will change his mind? What will he say when Misaki gets home?

An aching feeling rippled through Akihiko, a feeling no number of cigarettes could change.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the short chapters. I'm changing POV and there is a time gap so there really isn't a way around it. The next chapter should be up late tonight or tomorrow afternoon. Thanks for reading. Please Review.**

Misaki stood.

He just waited, and watched the handle of the door. It just sat there. Mocking him, all shiny and round, just waiting to be turned. Misaki's fascination with the handle has gone on for around fifteen minutes, and repeated day after day. He just watched. Standing in the hall waiting to pressure himself into enter the apartment. The waking thought of anything being beyond that door hung in his head. Weather it was Usagi-san working sleeping or doing some strange third thing, or even a combination of the three, Misaki didn't want to be in the middle of it. Maybe even the occasional rose covered apartment, more common after an award that Usagi-san's book own, was behind that door.

It could be anything.

Finally and a hesitant moment, Misaki pushed the door open, "I'm home." His voice rang through the huge apartment. Too his surprise, Usagi-san wasn't suited up or locked in his dark room, but sitting on the couch. Resting his head in his hands looking completly miserable. "Usagi-san? Are you okay?"

"Misaki! You're home early," Usagi-san smiled a fake smile. His eye trailed the floor hazy and stressed.

"Did something happen? You look really stressed out." Misaki removed his shoes and started off to the kitchen. Usagi-san dropped his head, his expression darkened. He didn't move, just watched the floor, allowing his thoughts to spin in his head. Misaki walked up behind him and watched over his shoulder. He placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping that he could show his older lover some comfort.

All Usagi-san did in return was place his hand over Misaki's. He closed his eye and tried to hold his voice steady as the touch of Misaki's hand left his. "Misaki, we have to talk."

Misaki stepped back at the grave tone of Usagi-san's voice. Something seemed off as Usagi-san guided him around the couch and gestured to the chair across the glass table. His heart dropped slightly when he spotted a small set of new suitcase resting next to his door. He looked back at the crushed expression his lover held and the sudden sense of reality cracked down around his shoulders.

"Takahiro—" Usagi-san's voice was shacking ever so slightly and Misaki clenched his fists.

He whispered, "You're not saying…"

All Usagi-san could do was nod his head slightly and clench his fist. As Misaki watched his, hoping for… something. Anything. But if anyone knew his brother, it was Misaki. For now he would just have to wait things out. But for now he had to finish things here. He had to pack and help Usagi-san. A hole grew in his heart as he went through the motions of cooking and folding while this older lover just finished off a pack of cigarettes.


	4. Chapter 4

**So here's chapter 4**

**Sorry it's so late… I started to write but it just didn't sound good. So here's the best I have please read and review. And please excuse all spelling and grammar issues. I failed English this year so it's to be expected.**

**Enjoy.**

_The lights seemed to dim as Misaki came down the stairs. Bags jumped behind him as he dragged, fully packed, down the stairs behind him. His bright green eyes sparkled with joy and a bright smile lit up across his face. Akihiko lifted an eyebrow at the strange expression the younger boy was making in this type of situation. He skipped down the last step and walked over to the door opening it and dropping his bags in the hallway. _

"_Well this is grate, Usagi-san! I can finally leave. I was holding you back anyway." Misaki smiled._

_Flinching, Akihiko stood up from his spot on the sofa and started to walk over to Misaki's side, "No! Don't say that, you know its not true," Knowing his time was very limited, Usagi-san wrapped his arms around Misaki and held him tight, "Misaki, you can talk him out of this… you don't have to go." Akihiko felt his chest tighten but he didn't want to let Misaki see his weakness. Misaki just chuckled in a very un-Misaki like way that sent shivers down Akihiko's spin. "What's wrong Misaki," Akihiko began to panic at the cold feel that his young lover was giving off. He didn't have the same fake smile that the usual Misaki gave off in this type of situation. "Misaki…" he cooed in Misaki's ear as he tightened his grasp on the brown haired boy. _

"_Stop it Usagi-san," Suddenly Misaki had escaped Akihiko's grasp. "I hate you! Leave me alone!" he gagged slightly and bent over._

_Akihiko recoiled his hands and then jumped to Misaki's side as he dropped and lied, dead, on the floor. Akihiko screamed for help, watching as Misaki's eyes glazed over and watched sightlessly and Akihiko's eyes filled with tear, "Miskai! Misaki! Maiski! MISAKI! Wake up, please!" He jumped back and rubbed his eyes, "Someone! Help! Misaki!" He panicked and ran to the door to call the neighbor for help. Beyond the door Takahiro just stared at Akihiko with a disappointed expression. "What's going on?" the room started to darken and Akihiko was suddenly alone, kneeling with his head in his hands. "What's happening…"_

Akihiko jumped from his bed, a cold sweat shook him from head to toe as he kicked the covers of the lonely double bed. He sat up and rubbed his face with his hands, combing back his sliver hair. He opened his eyes to see the walls of his dark room. His collection of toys was scattered across the floor. Akihiko reached to the bed stand table, clawing the pale wood in search for the half empty pack of cigarettes he knew was sitting there. The bed was too cold. Too empty, and the small impression that Misaki had worn into the mattress just looked sad and empty in the dark light.

Akihiko light the Cigarette and flipped on the light, his eyes flickered around the room.

It had been three days since Takahiro took Misaki from him. Each night, another dream haunted him, each one making him loss Misaki again, and again. Each dream tossed the events that happened that day out of proportion a little more. Akihiko shook his head as the images of his dream flashed back into his mind. Takahiro had taken Misaki without a word, and Misaki had left without a word as well.

"Three day down," Akihiko whispered as he breather in another breath of thick smoke. He rubbed his eyes and swung his legs over the edge of his bed, not wanting to start the day but not wanted to fall asleep again. Grinding the rest of his cigarette into the ash try next to his bed. He changed quickly then stumbled down the stairs. He didn't bother with food and just sat down on the couch, opening his computer.

Akihiko was at a loss for words, he store at the blank screen for about ten minuets before finally giving up. It wasn't even like he was procrastinating like usual. He truly had nothing to say, nothing to write. Nothing to say. When he closed his laptop the doorbell rung. He rolled over and ignored it at first but buy the fifth ring and knock on the door, he stood up and opened the door.

Hiroki lifted an eyebrow at the disturbed look on his childhood friend's face, "What?" he let himself in and removed his shoes. Hiroki dropped a small hardcover book on the coffee table a picked up the unusually small draft Akihiko had typed the night before Misaki left. "May I?" he lifted up the packet and began reading after Akihiko nodded. He sat down and flipped to the second page.

Akihiko walked in and lifted the book and flipped to the back, reading the summery and then scanning the first few pages. "What's this?"

"The book," Hiroki responded as he flipped to the next page. Akihiko didn't respond so Hiroki continued, looking up from the draft, "Don't you remember? You saw it in my office," he began to read again, "When you were spying in that brat of yours. You told me to give it to you when I finished." He turned the page, "Its was a good idea but poorly written, and the story ended too soon. The couple get split up in the end, but the back tells you that." He waited for his friend to respond while he read.

Akihiko just sat and began reading. His face emotionless, but his eyes filled with pain.

As the minuets passed in silent, Hiroki finally spoke, placing Akihiko's draft on the table, "It's good, but you seem a bit all over the place, have you written any more yet?"

Akihiko shook his head, not really I'm blocked."

"Pity…" Hiroki started to the door when he noticed the unusual silence the apartment. He guessed that that was the cause of Akihiko's bad mood and he debated asking him what was wrong the entire time he was reading, "Where's the brat?" Hiroki looked over at his childhood friend as he slipped on his shoes.

Akihiko stopped read, and closed the book, folding over the tip of the page and looking over at Hiroki. He slammed the book into the coffee table. The tiny book made an echoing thud that caused Hiroki to jump in fear.

"What the!"

"It's non of you business, now if you don't mind, I have to leave. You can let yourself out." Akihiko looked murderous as he grabbed a jacket and stalked off, passed a completely shocked Hiroki, who stood in the doorway, wide eyed.

**Okay that's the best place to stop it. **

**Please review… even if you have nothing good to say. **

**I wont be updating for a wile and again sorry this is so late.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay so I wanted to clear this up… this story takes place when Misaki is still, like 18? Before Takahiro had his kid. I don't really know if that's relevant but I haven't read the most recent chapters... so I don't really know how the characters have changed, all I know is that Misaki gets a job, or something. **

**Also I just realized how terrible the first chapter of this story is so I might go and rewrite it so keep a look out. I wrote it really fast in like ten min and it's… just… bad…**

**Anyway, here's chapter 5. Enjoy and Review.**

The car ride home was silent. Along with the next two days. Misaki hadn't left his room under any circumstance. He had to think. To put things into perspective. Nee-san was nice enough to bring him some food every now and then, but Misaki was only cruel to her. Misaki didn't know how much she knew, and he didn't want to. His thoughts where still a jumble, and avoiding his family and school work was the best thing he could do. _Nii-san doesn't have the right to do this, and why didn't Usagi-san try and stop this? Was I— am I nothing to him now? _Misaki's chest tightened, hurt by his own words. He didn't want to have to choose between his only family and his lover.

That's why he had to think.

Down stairs, the front door swung shut. Some dishes rattled. Then the TV flipped though the news channels. Misaki sighed. Takahiro had left again. He tiptoed to his door, peaking ever so slightly out into the empty second floor hall. Nipping his lip, Misaki's mind fell blank as he slipped silently door the stairway. The door was just a few feet away, begging to be opened. The door mocked him, teasing him, just like Usagi-san's had done three day's before. Had it really been three days already? Stepping down from the last stair, Misaki gravitated to the door. Reaching for the shinny brass knob. Freedom just inches from his fingertips.

"Misaki?" He froze, not daring to turn around at the sounds of Nee-san's voice. He didn't need to. Misaki could just picture his sister-in-law jumping up from the couch, looking concerned. Instead, He dropped his hand, allowing it to fall limp at his side. "Misaki, what's going on? Takahiro won't tell me any thing. I… Want to help."

The green eyed boy breathed deeply, spinning on his heels to look her in the eyes when he spoke. He had expected the words to get stuck in his thought. He expected to stumble. His voice shacking. But Misaki spoke clearly with a steady tone, "Onii-san forced me to leave Usami-san's house because he found out that we where in a relation ship." His words where almost cold. And Misaki didn't like it, but the truth had to come out sooner or later. Why not now?

With a quick gasp, Misaki's sister in law fell back into the chair. Her eyes wide with a hand over her mouth. Her eye's blinked a few times, not looking at anything. She whispered something, but Misaki didn't hear. Gazing up at Misaki. Lifting an eyebrow, "This is true? You where really in a relationship with Akihiko?"

"Yes." Miskai's cheeks flushed red and he averted his eyes, not wanting to look at his brother wife. Her voice was still hiding something, and he couldn't tell if she would be judgmental. Or accepting.

"How did Takahiro find out! Of course he would brake you up, he hates gays!" Misaki watched as she ran a had through her hair. Eyes filled his panic and pity. Misaki smiled, knowing now that she was on his side. "Not only that, but Takahiro hates lying more than anything. And I would assume you two lied to keep this a secret."

Misaki nodded. He remembered something along those lines, but nothing specific. Just a haze of memories and words. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. _Why am I here? I need to be with Usagi-san… I need to-_ Hot salty tears forced at the corns of his deep green eyes, running down his cheeks with a few resting on his thick lashes.

"Oh Misaki" Nee-san wrapped her arms around him. "It's okay I'll help you figure this out."

"You won't tell right," Misaki sniffed, holding back his tears with all of his effort, but only Usagi-san could stop them.

"What?"

"I'm going to go find him, I need to talk to him. Will you keep it a secret from Onii-san?" Misaki's heart almost shattered. _Why is this happening?_ Misaki ducked his head. _I never even got to say 'I love you'_

"Of course."

Her words where music to Miskai's ears as he stepped back, clearing his eyes and putting the best smile he could make on his face. "Thank you Nee-san." He hugged her quickly. Then started for the door. Racing to his lover, and running from his home.

**Sorry for the very short and crappy chapter. I promise to update soon seeing how I got over my writers block. I know this chapter is a jumble and kind of confusing but the next one wont be like that. And the drama picks up from there.**

**Please review. Thanks!**


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